A drink for all my friends
"If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all."
- Genghis Khan
My, my, my, Internet, you have been busy while I was away, spiriting my snarky comments away to a world unprepared for them. How to respond?
Like so:
The Sites I Love.
Bears Will Attack- Funny, but not laugh-out-loud, funny. I like how he uses the royal "we" to refer to himself. I like how he ends his posts with song lyrics. I like how his life seems to take place in this alternate world where fantastic things happen, a world that’s more wonderful than this one. I know he lives in the same world as me, and shuttle between work and home and his social life like the rest of us, but this is how he chooses to talk about it. He makes me feel happy.
"You call me mad/ And I am mad/ As a hatter
Some fall in love/ Some fall in love
I shatter"
- I Shatter, Magnetic Fields
Maud Newton- Mrs. Maud, our guide and usher through the literary world. No book review, no author interview, no publishing gossip escapes her scrutiny. She keeps me in the loop, and by imitating her I can pretend to be smart. When she is away she finds guest bloggers. Smart women are so fucking sexy. The cinetrix of books, je t’aime, Maud.
Andrea Siegel- I found young Miss Siegel through the aforementioned Mrs.Maud. Miss Siegel, an author, had given an interview where she basically said that she felt people had the right to commit suicide if they were unhappy. I still don’t know what I feel about that sentiment, but I admired, and admire still, how outspoken she is. Hers was the first blog I ever read from the beginning. It took a few days to pore through her archives, and it left me nursing a mean crush on her. She just loves TV so much; it’s inspiring. I have yet to read her book; I guess I’m afraid I won’t like it and it will break the spell. I still harbor dreams of marrying her. Don’t tell her, though.
Kafkaesque and Monkey Disaster- These fellas are hanging by a thread, as they do not post often enough, anymore. But I will forgive much, because of this, and this, and so and so on and so on.
Perry Bible Fellowship- I’ve mentioned this dude before. Pros: Funny, sick, disturbing. He’s like Canadian cinema in cartoon form. Cons: He’s younger than me! The fucking bastard!
Izzle Pfaff- I don’t know. His love of horrible movies? His apathy towards his job? Backstage gossip? Tragi-comic reminiscences? Fucking A.
One Child Left Behind- Okay, this guy gets muy bonus points for linking to me, but he’s still pretty great, too. You never know what to expect when you call up his site. A dark memory about his work? A funny story about his wife? Fortunately, it’s all strikingly well written.
Cinetrix- An embedded reporter in the front lines of cinema. Film festival? She’s on it. Kurosawa retrospective? She’ll give you the address. I’ve stolen more than a few links from her, but her science is just too tight. Who else obsesses over getting a picture of reclusive New York Times film reviewer Manohla Dargis? She’s the Maud Newton of movies.
The Homeless Guide- Sad in its subtext, but screaming with hope. You will be okay, he wants to tell us. I hope to God I never end up on the street, but fuck it! He makes me think I’d survive.
BA’s- Talk about stealing links, I’ve taken more than my share from this guy. If I was going to have anyone searching the web for me, it would be him. The only thing funnier than the crazy shit he finds, are his comments on the crazy shit he finds. Plus he has linked to me twice. Bonus points.
Honorable Mention- Ubermilf- Granted, she doesn’t technically have a blog (yet), but she posts so frequently I like to think of her as a guest contributor. She’s too funny, too kind, too supportive. I don’t deserve her.
Hell, there’s others. Anyone else on my link list I didn’t mention just hasn’t been on my radar long enough.
Are there any trends in my tastes? I seem to admire audacity, honesty, whimsy. Tell me something I don’t know. Be unashamedly yourself. Be honest about your failings, your struggles, your hopes. I will love you, I promise.
UPDATE 05/05/05: Kafkaesque has finally updated his site. Good timing. And Defective Yeti was left off the above list, as I was starting to lose faith in him. This recent post has redeemed him admirably, in my eyes.
- Genghis Khan
My, my, my, Internet, you have been busy while I was away, spiriting my snarky comments away to a world unprepared for them. How to respond?
Like so:
The Sites I Love.
Bears Will Attack- Funny, but not laugh-out-loud, funny. I like how he uses the royal "we" to refer to himself. I like how he ends his posts with song lyrics. I like how his life seems to take place in this alternate world where fantastic things happen, a world that’s more wonderful than this one. I know he lives in the same world as me, and shuttle between work and home and his social life like the rest of us, but this is how he chooses to talk about it. He makes me feel happy.
"You call me mad/ And I am mad/ As a hatter
Some fall in love/ Some fall in love
I shatter"
- I Shatter, Magnetic Fields
Maud Newton- Mrs. Maud, our guide and usher through the literary world. No book review, no author interview, no publishing gossip escapes her scrutiny. She keeps me in the loop, and by imitating her I can pretend to be smart. When she is away she finds guest bloggers. Smart women are so fucking sexy. The cinetrix of books, je t’aime, Maud.
Andrea Siegel- I found young Miss Siegel through the aforementioned Mrs.Maud. Miss Siegel, an author, had given an interview where she basically said that she felt people had the right to commit suicide if they were unhappy. I still don’t know what I feel about that sentiment, but I admired, and admire still, how outspoken she is. Hers was the first blog I ever read from the beginning. It took a few days to pore through her archives, and it left me nursing a mean crush on her. She just loves TV so much; it’s inspiring. I have yet to read her book; I guess I’m afraid I won’t like it and it will break the spell. I still harbor dreams of marrying her. Don’t tell her, though.
Kafkaesque and Monkey Disaster- These fellas are hanging by a thread, as they do not post often enough, anymore. But I will forgive much, because of this, and this, and so and so on and so on.
Perry Bible Fellowship- I’ve mentioned this dude before. Pros: Funny, sick, disturbing. He’s like Canadian cinema in cartoon form. Cons: He’s younger than me! The fucking bastard!
Izzle Pfaff- I don’t know. His love of horrible movies? His apathy towards his job? Backstage gossip? Tragi-comic reminiscences? Fucking A.
One Child Left Behind- Okay, this guy gets muy bonus points for linking to me, but he’s still pretty great, too. You never know what to expect when you call up his site. A dark memory about his work? A funny story about his wife? Fortunately, it’s all strikingly well written.
Cinetrix- An embedded reporter in the front lines of cinema. Film festival? She’s on it. Kurosawa retrospective? She’ll give you the address. I’ve stolen more than a few links from her, but her science is just too tight. Who else obsesses over getting a picture of reclusive New York Times film reviewer Manohla Dargis? She’s the Maud Newton of movies.
The Homeless Guide- Sad in its subtext, but screaming with hope. You will be okay, he wants to tell us. I hope to God I never end up on the street, but fuck it! He makes me think I’d survive.
BA’s- Talk about stealing links, I’ve taken more than my share from this guy. If I was going to have anyone searching the web for me, it would be him. The only thing funnier than the crazy shit he finds, are his comments on the crazy shit he finds. Plus he has linked to me twice. Bonus points.
Honorable Mention- Ubermilf- Granted, she doesn’t technically have a blog (yet), but she posts so frequently I like to think of her as a guest contributor. She’s too funny, too kind, too supportive. I don’t deserve her.
Hell, there’s others. Anyone else on my link list I didn’t mention just hasn’t been on my radar long enough.
Are there any trends in my tastes? I seem to admire audacity, honesty, whimsy. Tell me something I don’t know. Be unashamedly yourself. Be honest about your failings, your struggles, your hopes. I will love you, I promise.
UPDATE 05/05/05: Kafkaesque has finally updated his site. Good timing. And Defective Yeti was left off the above list, as I was starting to lose faith in him. This recent post has redeemed him admirably, in my eyes.
posted by Dash Bradley at 6:35 PM
3 Comments:
Mon petit chou chou,
My blog will be coming soon. Last week, when I told Mr. Ubermilf about my blog ambitions, he decided I needed a new Mac Mini, new software, and Airport so I can post from anywhere in the house if the laptop is here as well. I am uberspoiled. And married to an ubergeek, who coincidentally provides technical services to B.A. at work.
The ubergirls and I visited the workplace on Thursday. The Littler Ubergirl willingly gave B.A. a kiss on the cheek, while Little Ubergirl looked at his scratchy beard and said, "Mmm, no thank you." But she sang and danced to "Singing in the Rain," which made up for it.
By the way, I am curious about Dash Bradley's occupation. Perhaps, paid consort to a wealthy and influential grande dame of Canadian society?
Your uberfamily is just too fucking cute. My official title is part-time office slave. I slop out the spitoons, wipe the sweaty brows of the executives and dance for the amusement of the full-timers. I am also a consort to grande dame of Turkish society, however the position is unpaid.
No! I'm joking! Actually, I work for a credit card company, in customer service. my job is to let the customers beat me with rubber hoses every three minutes or so, metaphorically.
I caught myself from falling at his doorway, which he hadnt closed. Angela Barrett comes from a long line of tough broads.
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I caught myself from falling at his doorway, which he hadnt closed. Angela Barrett comes from a long line of tough broads.
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