Pity me

Few nights ago, I was at the bar with friends. After the bar closed I went to a little get-together, where I took a good hit off a joint (why? I hate pot, I always smoke too much and I never enjoy it. Why?). I realized I was way too drunk, and now way too high; so I excused myself, gathered up my box of beer and was on my way. Made it most of the way, then I slipped on the ice, fell on my ass and cut my head. Oh! And I broke my box of beer, too. So there I am; too drunk, too high, clutching my beer cans, my head bleeding. As I stagger home, I wonder how much more pathetic can I become? Five hours later, I wake up on my bathroom floor.
Oh.