Decoy

This is actually a fake post that I will post anyway because what the fuck but actually about three feet behind me two of my coworkers who are dating are having a fight and I am eavesdropping but I'm trying not to be obvious so I figure if I'm typing something I can't be eavesdropping at the same time, right? Wrong, motherfuckers! I am totally listening to you. I am listening to your fight and you cannot stop me and perhaps the workplace is not the best place for domestic quarrels, hmmmm? Hmmmmm? What do you think? Now I am going to pause and pretend to ponder what I have written.

Ha! Actually I was pausing to eavesdrop more effectively! I cannot be stopped! No door is closed to me! You will hear me and obey. Lalalalalalalaa. Gibberish. Gobberish. Booberish. Boobs. Eavesdropping! Eavesdropping!
Okay, they're gone. Thanks, internet, I needed an excuse.