Dream Diary #2
(Because the first one was so popular)
Now, I’m not the kind of coworker who likes to chat. I mean, if there’s something to say, or we have an important issue to discuss, then fine. The weather? Your weekend? How the customers are annoying you? Yeah, couldn’t give less of a shit. The majority of my coworkers sense that about me and so, keep their mouths shut. I do have, and have had, some coworkers who were such chronic socializers that they would talk to anyone in earshot, including me. Now I’m antisocial, but I’m no prick; if someone wants to talk to me I’ll respond and converse with them, but I don’t take a robust part in the conversation and I will try to politely end it as soon as possible.
Now, I had one such coworker who left my work a few months ago. We had chatted a few times; she was nice, cute, young. A very sunny gal, so we had little in common. So she quit, I wished her well on her last day, she was gone. La-dee-da.
Like, a few months later, I had a dream about this girl where we got to talking at work and went out for drinks and talked and had a great time. It wasn’t like a romantic thing; we just really got along and had a lot to talk about. So I woke up and felt this pang that she was gone. I was like, "Oh, man. It sucks that she’s gone. She was so easy to talk to!" But then, "Oh, wait. That was a dream. In reality we had nothing in common. Never mind."
So last night I have this dream where I’m at work, and this coworker of mine comes up and tells me I have a secret admirer. Now the coworker who’s telling me this is gay, in real life and inn the dream. So my first thought is, "Oh, shoot. I bet this coworker is going to tell me he has a crush on me. So I start formulating how I’m going to gently tell him that I’m not gay, but then he produces this chick, my former coworker, as my secret admirer. Whoah! Where did she come from? So we start talking and flirting and it’s going okay, and then I say something sweet or romantic and she recoils and tells me that she liked me because I was kind of an asshole! So I backtrack and assure her that I’m not sweet and I am kind of an asshole. The dream changed from that point into God knows.
Anyway, I don’t know why this coworker keeps cropping up in my dreams. She’s not exactly my type. Who knows?
Regardless, it got me thinking about this whole Chicks and Assholes thing. What’s the deal with chicks going for jerks? My theory is that chicks did confidence, and as assholes tend to be confident (ever met a shy jerk?), chicks go for them. It’s the confidence that is attractive, and the assholeness (assholiness?) is incidental and overlooked. I think it’s a sound theory, but I told a friend about it (who knew a thing or two about dating assholes) and she said that no, chicks just like assholes. Disheartening. But another friend of mine contends that all guys think all other guys are assholes, whether or not they actually are. So it’s not a question of chicks actually going for assholes, it’s just that guys perceive the guys that chicks go for as assholes, arbitrarily. Anyway, I’m writing an article about the phenomenon, which I plan to have published in Psychology Today, and Scientific American. The Nobel people have also expressed interest…
Now, I’m not the kind of coworker who likes to chat. I mean, if there’s something to say, or we have an important issue to discuss, then fine. The weather? Your weekend? How the customers are annoying you? Yeah, couldn’t give less of a shit. The majority of my coworkers sense that about me and so, keep their mouths shut. I do have, and have had, some coworkers who were such chronic socializers that they would talk to anyone in earshot, including me. Now I’m antisocial, but I’m no prick; if someone wants to talk to me I’ll respond and converse with them, but I don’t take a robust part in the conversation and I will try to politely end it as soon as possible.
Now, I had one such coworker who left my work a few months ago. We had chatted a few times; she was nice, cute, young. A very sunny gal, so we had little in common. So she quit, I wished her well on her last day, she was gone. La-dee-da.
Like, a few months later, I had a dream about this girl where we got to talking at work and went out for drinks and talked and had a great time. It wasn’t like a romantic thing; we just really got along and had a lot to talk about. So I woke up and felt this pang that she was gone. I was like, "Oh, man. It sucks that she’s gone. She was so easy to talk to!" But then, "Oh, wait. That was a dream. In reality we had nothing in common. Never mind."
So last night I have this dream where I’m at work, and this coworker of mine comes up and tells me I have a secret admirer. Now the coworker who’s telling me this is gay, in real life and inn the dream. So my first thought is, "Oh, shoot. I bet this coworker is going to tell me he has a crush on me. So I start formulating how I’m going to gently tell him that I’m not gay, but then he produces this chick, my former coworker, as my secret admirer. Whoah! Where did she come from? So we start talking and flirting and it’s going okay, and then I say something sweet or romantic and she recoils and tells me that she liked me because I was kind of an asshole! So I backtrack and assure her that I’m not sweet and I am kind of an asshole. The dream changed from that point into God knows.
Anyway, I don’t know why this coworker keeps cropping up in my dreams. She’s not exactly my type. Who knows?
Regardless, it got me thinking about this whole Chicks and Assholes thing. What’s the deal with chicks going for jerks? My theory is that chicks did confidence, and as assholes tend to be confident (ever met a shy jerk?), chicks go for them. It’s the confidence that is attractive, and the assholeness (assholiness?) is incidental and overlooked. I think it’s a sound theory, but I told a friend about it (who knew a thing or two about dating assholes) and she said that no, chicks just like assholes. Disheartening. But another friend of mine contends that all guys think all other guys are assholes, whether or not they actually are. So it’s not a question of chicks actually going for assholes, it’s just that guys perceive the guys that chicks go for as assholes, arbitrarily. Anyway, I’m writing an article about the phenomenon, which I plan to have published in Psychology Today, and Scientific American. The Nobel people have also expressed interest…
posted by Dash Bradley at 4:51 PM
1 Comments:
I blame romance novels (and movies, songs, any of that crap) and a fundamental understanding of men by women.
First, the romance crap. "Bad boys" are portrayed as romantic and exciting instead of the dumbass losers they actually are. Fantasy: swashbuckling, daring and witty. Reality: lazy, stupid, mean and selfish.
Second, women's brains are always going. See how much we talk? We think even more. So, when a man appears brooding, we think he's thinking deep, meaningful thoughts. Luckily, many women grow out of this misconception.
Now, you might not think every guy with a woman is an asshole, but you guys do tend to find something wrong with him. Whether it's looks, personality, trying too hard, whatever. That's a coping mechanism to make yourself feel better. Women do it too, but we're usually even more vicious.
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