Restaurant Idea #1

There are no tables, or cutlery, or even dishes. How? How is this accomplished? Simple! As they enter, patrons are provided with an apron, with many pockets, and a pair of rubber gloves. They enter to find a series of buffet-style islands. The patrons fill the pockets of their aprons with food, and then mingle around; they eat from their pockets as they chat amiably. Can't miss!
I also have a new idea for serving staff. Instead of being humdrum old biped humanoids, they will be genetically engineered giant insects, and walk around on the ceiling. The genius of this is that they can serve the table from above. Think how efficient they will be! They can travel over tables, no muss, no fuss. Of course they will be incapable of speech, but they will have a tape recorder hanging around their necks with a pre-recorded greeting. They just scuttle up, turn on the recorder, and boom! The customers hear a greeting and a list of all the specials. Then the customers give their orders, which will be recorded, and the waiters will scuttle back to the kitchen and play it for the chef-squid.
A restaurant design idea I have is that instead of a regular opaque floor, there should be a steel grating. Instead of having busboys, patrons will dump their plates off of their tables and on to the grate. The food will pass through into a pit. The pit will then be cleaned on a semi-regular basis, by either cheap foreign labor, or starving dogs. Again, efficiency!
Last one, and I can't remember if this was my idea or my friends', but fuck him. The idea is that instead of bouncers in bars, we would have ninjas. The ninjas would stand by the walls, perfectly still, until trouble broke out. The lights would go out, and then come back on and the ninjas would be gone. The lights would go out again, and when they come back on the ninjas would be back at the walls, and the troublemakers would be gone, forever. It's solid gold!