Girls, girls, girls

"Girls, girls, girls," from Girls, girls, girls, by Jay-Z

So last night I somehow got two of my friends to come out to the bar with me, despite the fact we were camping all weekend and we all felt pretty beat-the-hell-up. So we went to our local pub, the Toad. The Toad is always great on Sundays; they have a DJ set up in one of the booths with a couple boxes of records. People can browse through the records and make requests, so the music is generally pretty good. They played a lot of David Bowie last night, so I was pretty happy. The other cool thing is that the owner comes in and bartends for the night, and his wife/girlfriend/whatever also comes in with their little baby girl. On one hand, it’s kind of cool having a little kid running around, as it gives the place a homey feel. Along with the records, it feels like you’re hanging out in someone’s basement. On the other hand, it’s kind of creepy with everyone siting around getting drunk, and there’s this kid learning to walk over here. It’s a little hard to enjoy your drink when there’s a metaphor for your lost innocence bumping into your legs.
Anyway, we started the night sitting out on the patio, when a girl we know came up and said hello. Now, this girl, let me tell you about this girl. She’s a friend of a friend, and she’s just about the sweetest person you’ve ever met. Apparently she grew up Mennonite, and she’s kind of naïve, and very earnest, which I find endearing. When you talk to her, she’s incredibly interested in everything you have to say, even if it’s mundane she’s always really impressed. And she’s so excited to see you! She works in a restaurant just down the street from me, so I walk past it like, every day. Whenever she sees me she always runs over to the door and calls me over to say hi, and usually invite me to go hang out with her. On top of all this, she’s a very pretty girl. Now, normally if I encountered a girl who was always eager to see me and to hang out with me and was very interested in what I had to say, I would assume she was attracted to me and I should ask her out (even I wouldn’t miss signals like this). But here’s the thing: she has a boyfriend! She is completely committed to, and in love with this boyfriend! I know this because all of her friends have confirmed the fact that she has a boyfriend, and a lot of my male friends have asked her out, and been rebuked, because she has a boyfriend. This girl is just incredibly flirty, to everyone I presume. It’s beyond friendliness, this girl sends off all the signals, man. It’s annoying; when you talk to her, it’s impossible not to start flirting yourself, until you catch yourself and remember: there’s no chance!
So, yeah, we run into this girl, and she’s so happy to see us, and she invites us to hang out with her tomorrow, yada yada yada. Fuck!
Anyway, we go into the basement for Vinyl Night, and we hook up with a couple of other Toad regulars, A and P. So we’re sitting around, talking and drinking and P starts flirting with this girl standing nearby. She eventually joins us and hangs out with us for about an hour. She’s a cool girl, cute, funny; we’re all having a good time. Now, P, my friend and myself are single dudes so we’re all hitting on this girl. Again, I would argue she was somewhat flirting back. Things are going well until about 45 minutes in when she mentions the boyfriend. Fuck! Ah, the b-bomb, you gotta love it. Now, I do appreciate this, as it does stop a fella from asking a girl out and being rejected, which is nice. On the other hand, though, it’s so calculated. Girls are rarely able to thread it smoothly into the conversation so it always seems kind of superfluous and contrived. "Oh, you have a job? That’s funny, my boyfriend has a job!" My friend had been talking about how he shaved his head, "Oh my boyfriend has a shaved head." Yeah, great, good to know. So she drifted off at some point. What the hell was her name? Oh well.
Now, I mentioned that we sat down with two other regulars; A, the other one, is a very cool, kind of weird, very cute chick. Despite the fact that we frequent the same bar, and have done so for years, we’ve only recently started hanging out with A. I’d never really thought of making a play for her, but lately it’s been like Dash Bradley mating season around here; I’m taking it pretty hard to the hoop with every female who crosses my path. So, I was kind of flirting with her, and eventually my friend and P faded into the night. We’re getting along, she’s laughing at my jokes. She asks if I lived around there, I did. I asked if she lived around there, she did. I asked if I could walk her home, she said "Yeah." I start to focus my chi. Everyone knows that walking a girl home is as solid a move as there is. We kept talking, drinking, laughing. At closing time, when the bartenders were kicking everyone out, she looked at me and said "Goodnight." Uh…okay. I stood up and paused next to the table. "Goodnight," she said again, curtly, not moving a muscle. Either she hadn’t really heard me when I offered to walk her home, or she changed her mind, or maybe she forgot. Regardless, I had been dismissed from her presence. Fuck! Oh well, it probably would have been a bad idea, in a "don’t shit where you eat" sense. Also, my friend is kind of interested in her, so he’d probably be pissed off. What can I say? I was drunk and horny and I took a shot.
But, yeah, chicks and flirting, I see no solution. I know girls like to flirt, whether or not they’re interested in a dude, whether or not they’re already involved. I understand and respect that, but man can it be annoying!