Pet peeves

I'm in a cantankerous mood today, so here goes.
1: People who stand in front of doors.
It's a fucking door. Of course people are going to walk through the door, that's what they're for. Don't give people a dirty look for bumping into you. You are standing in front of a door, you rotten bastards.
2: People ignoring their screaming children.
Although I have no children o' me own, I am aware that at some point children have to be taught that you can't always get your way. I am also aware that the only way to do it, heartbreaking though it might be, is to ignore their tantrums. What I am not entirely certain about, though, is that the best place to do this is in fucking public. When people walk by you they are not thinking "My! What a conscientious and savvy parent this person is!" They are thinking: "Shut your kid up, asshole." You rotten bastards.
3: People who stand on stairs.
See #1, but exchange "stairs" for "door".
Oh, and exchange "walk through" with "walk up." Or I guess "walk down."
Then it should work. You rotten bastards.
4: Shoving.
God-dammit. Did you think that I just forgot I was standing in a lineup? That I just decided to stand there for no good reason? That you are somehow helping the situation by pushing me into the back of the person in front of me? You rotten bastards.
5: Banging on the door of a public bathroom, and yelling "hurry up!"
What are you thinking? I'm all done and I'm just hanging out? Oh right, because public washrooms are so fucking pleasant, I want to spend as much time in there as possible, right? Right? You rotten bastards.
6: Lounging at the bar when there is a crowd behind you.
My God, you're just so stylish, aren't you? You've bought your drink and now it's time to pose. That's right, just lean there on the bar, in repose, because God knows there aren't twenty people also trying to get drinks at the same bar who now have to squeeze into the 12 inches of bar you have allowed for them. You rotten bastards. Note: This one is related to #4.

I'm not sure if this is relevant, but I spent last night in a bar, and I walked to work today, which might explain why I felt the need to make this list. You rotten bastards.