Hey ladies!

So Friday night, me and some friends went down to the part of Winnipeg that’s closest to little Italy. Granted, it’s only about four or five blocks long, but the concentration of cafes and gelatte shops means that when the weather is nice, half of Winnipeg converges there. Seeing as how Friday night was the start of a long weekend, and the nicest day in a long time, it was packed. Families, couples, young people, old people; everyone loves to walk up and down that strip. It’s prime people watching time, and I’m a prime people watcher. We snagged a table at the corner of a patio, nearest the sidewalk, and watched the pretty girls go by. Sadly, all the tables around us were filled with fellas who had a peculiar approach to courtship. Basically, they would remain seated and yell at passing women: "Hey! You! You’re hot! Hey! Come here! You! The hot one! Come here!" Does this work? Does this work on humans? Yelling and pointing? I’m pretty sure that’s how baboons flirt. Maybes these guys just got confused about which species they were trying to attract. It happens. I wouldn’t have minded so much, but like I said, we were sitting at the edge of the patio, so these guys were yelling over our heads. When the women actually looked back at the source of the screaming the first thing they saw was my friends and I, desperately trying to dissociate ourselves from these boobs.
Now, I’m no Casanova, but I gotta question these guys’ approach. Based only on our observations in the field, it was not too successful on Friday. Women would half-smile, half-wave, and speed their pace. In my (far from comprehensive) experience, women seem to respond well to "eye-contact," and "conversation." Sure, yelling and pointing make a woman feel special, but I’m confident that by taking it to the next level and using my "conversation" technique, you will actually find yourself in a relationship.
But maybe that’s the point, by yelling and pointing from a distance, you assert your macho heterosexuality without any complicated relationships to cut into that drinking time, right fellas? Wooooo! Par-deeee! Not that I’m judging or anything. Well, maybe a little. Okay; judge, judge, judge.
As the aggressive masculinity assailing me on all sides was causing my hair to fall out in clumps, I was mighty pleased when my friends agreed to switch tables. We needed a bigger one, anyway, as we had a whole whack of people coming in. I was introduced to a girl my friend just started dating and she invited me to a party in June. The ‘invitation’ was just a card with a website address. Apparently I have to go to the website and register, and then I will receive the actual invitation. I hope. What an elaborate system for a party! Still, I’ll probably go. It will be great opportunity to try my "conversation" method, myself. Hopefully, I’ll meet a nice girl, and have some sort of sex with her. Cross your fingers!